the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize