I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am naked and annoyed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
