Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
