It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
