I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As shirtless as possible
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
