he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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