she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
