How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize