So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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