I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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