when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize