did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
