yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
