Betty ford says i'm here all night
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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