i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
