u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
