I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
