Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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