K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
