I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
