The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
