i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
