We named our party play list daddy issues
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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