At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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