and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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