someone get that fucking seahorse.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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