he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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