It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
