if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
