bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
