I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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