are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
