i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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