Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
even my farts smell like vagina
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
