Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize