Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
