Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
