The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
