who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
someone owes me an orgasm
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
