just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
