She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
