It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
