I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize