Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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