dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
