it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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