Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
