Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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