Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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