Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
