she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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