Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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