but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
