spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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