I wanna bring you to show and tell
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
