try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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