Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize