just tell him i said nine months
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
