Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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