Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
