My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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