I don't think brook has ever known best
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
