Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
