I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just cropdusted the office
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize