You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
