I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You pole danced in your parka.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
